I caught sight of my arm in the mirror today, and I saw it.
The advancement of age, the fleeting escapism of youth.
I was in our bathroom, getting dressed after my shower, and as I raised my right arm to allow for my deodorant application, I noticed that the muscle definition that I thought I still had, especially near the region of my elbow, had receded. Much like a hairline that you take for granted will always be there, until the day that you discover it is not.
I noticed my obnoxiously skinny arm and my now vulnerable elbow, which stuck out like a crucible perched on the edge of my sagging body. So this is what it’s like to be fifty-two.
The body that I once had, that so many young and old men alike had admired years ago is fading away, like a once stunning artistic painting that for too long has hung in the living room and battled the effects of sunlight against its graying canvas. For a long time, I didn’t feel anything like my age. I worked out, set goals, chased dreams, and raised children. As my childcare duties are becoming less demanding, and I now have the time to discover this world and pursue any leftover lofty goals, I find that they are not so demanding of my attention as I once thought that they were.
All of my scheming and best laid plans now lay on the ground before my feet, and leave me to wonder if I will even have the energy or time to fulfill them.
The image of your life is a reflection of your dreams.
Model – Amy Wilder
Find her at https://www.facebook.com/AmyWILDERness?__mref=message_bubble
I hope I dance
On a large stage
With an astonished audience
And a band that plays skillfully in the background
A soft rock
A light tune
A Christopher Cross kind of sound
Under an illustrious moon
While a gentle breeze blows
I hope I dance in a velvet fluid motion
I hope I sway in perfect rhythm and harmony
I hope that I glide and weave
And wind my way around you
I want to dance with you
I had no idea when I met you
that you would come to mean so much to me
I wake beside you and touch your face
I wonder how you can stand it –
My being so in love with you
My needing you this much
My utter emotional dependence on you
For my sanity
For everything that means anything in my life
Like a helpless angry child
I wriggle and fight against myself
face growing red
bunching up my whole being into one big fit
screaming my head off in a state of
total toddler frenzy
All the while you stand over me and watch
like a parent who is concerned
yet not quite sure how to meet my needs
or what it is that I could possibly want
I don’t know either
Some days I stare out at the horizon
looking for answers to the questions
that plague my mind
trying to find a release
for the words that run through me
as a river that is swept away in its own
torrent of misery
an overflowing rage
of Mother Nature
in an attempt to stream away from myself
and somehow find you in a distant land
still standing over me with your concentrated look
that hints of bewilderment and devotion
When you gaze at me in that way
I can’t help but ponder
Are you wondering what it is that I am thinking
Or are you wondering
why you ever decided to love me
in the first place
The pain of flight is felt most stinging to the ones left below.
I seldom feel it
I still seek it
In an early jog
During a quiet morning
Coming to sit
Near a babbling brook
On a park bench
Under a tree
With thoughts that steal
Silently back to you
Every single person in this world has dragons in their lives that they must contend with.
Some peoples’ are just more camouflaged than others.